If you’re searching for a therapist and you’re LGBTQIA+, you’ve probably seen the word “affirming” many times. It’s become common enough that it can be hard to know what it actually means, and whether the person using it really means it.

Affirming Means More Than “Accepting”

Being tolerant or “fine with” someone’s identity isn’t the same as being affirming. An affirming therapist doesn’t see your sexual orientation or gender identity as something to be explained, fixed, or treated. They see it as a healthy, natural part of who you are, and they understand that many of the struggles clients bring have to do with how the world responds, not with who they are.

What to Look For

• You don’t have to educate your therapist. They already have working knowledge of LGBTQIA+ identities, language, and common experiences, so your session time goes to your life rather than to explaining the basics.
• They don’t treat identity as the problem. If you come in for anxiety, a relationship issue, or grief, your identity isn’t assumed to be the cause, and it isn’t ignored when it’s relevant.
• They stay open about identity development. Questioning, exploring, and changing how you describe yourself over time are treated as normal, with no pressure toward a particular answer.
• They understand the impact of stigma. Rejection, concealment, discrimination, and the work of coming out can shape mental health, and a good therapist takes that seriously.
• They respect chosen family. Support systems don’t always follow traditional lines, and your therapist shouldn’t assume they do.
• They reject conversion practices. Any approach that tries to change orientation or gender identity is harmful and unsupported, and a genuinely affirming therapist opposes it outright.

Questions You Can Ask in a First Call

It’s completely fair to ask:

• “What experience do you have working with LGBTQIA+ clients?”
• “How do you approach questions about identity?”
• “Have you worked with clients on [the specific thing you’re facing]?”

A good therapist won’t be bothered by these questions. They’ll welcome them.

Why This Matters for Results

Research consistently shows that the relationship between you and your therapist is one of the strongest predictors of progress. If you spend the first months of therapy managing your therapist’s reactions or teaching them what they should already know, that energy is taken from the work you came to do.

Working Together

LGBTQIA+ affirming care is one of the core parts of my practice. I work with individuals and couples, using approaches like EMDR, EFT, PACT, and the Gottman Method, and I offer therapy by telehealth throughout Denver, Boulder, and Colorado statewide.

Learn more about LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy →